Letters From Elizabeth
by riliiane
Summary: A handful of years have passed since Ciel has "died." Elizabeth is in ruins. Her family has pulled away from her until she now has no one left. But one day, her deceased fiance returns for her and takes her away so they will be safe together. Read the tragic letters from the now twenty two year old captive and experience the pain and suffering she endures with her "true love."
1. Letter One

11-23-1909

To whomever it may concern,

I deeply fear for my own pathetic life. I write these words in the dimming light of the moon as I hide under my sheets, shaking fully with fear and anticipation at the thought of being taken. I know it is going to happen, I always knew this, but as my times of end draws nearer and nearer I feel more and more terrified. I truly do not wish to die at such a tender age, barely on the peak of adulthood. At the beginning, I believed that I could match his manipulation and lies as a tactic help me survive this predicament that I wound myself so tightly inside. Of course, depending on the person of interest, you will be quite confused on my odd choice of wording or rather my lack of words. To clarify: I made one of the most horrible sins a human can achieve. It was out of grief and my own self destruction that I did so. I was in a time where I craved love, so I followed blindly with lustful eyes, and he was there to offer me that care and affection. Dancing with the devil does not come without its risks. I have made a gruesome falter. I never really thought that the time would come where the time painstakingly ticked away my lifespan, but as I write these words, I am wondering if I truly want to live in this world of malice in the first place. That is the question. When I was brought here, my mind was set on death being the only necessary escape from myself. It was what I desired.. I was already slowly drowning and choking on my own feelings of self pity and sadness, so I realized that soon I would choke on those tears and would die nevertheless. It was not as if I had anyone left in the world to care for me in the first place. My parents casted me from them and practically despised my existence. They felt as if I were just a nuisance. Just another mouth to feed that took up from their own survival. Just a dog. I truly only resided in their household. I was not welcomed, nor living in any manner. They believed I was merely helpless and unwanted.. At least that is what he told me. He told me that we had to go somewhere safe together, to escape the woes and ruins of the world. He told me he would care for me and love me. He even smiled that damned smile that made me take his hand. I wanted to believe him. So badly. It hurt my chest and soul to believe him, for I merely just wanted to love him and have him love me like the time before. As I sit here awaiting my death, I still find my heart beating only for him. Despite how drastically he has changed in front of my own eyes, my heart is still drawn to him with string. My entire self belongs to him. Even at this age I have grown to, I have realized and finally felt betrayed by his lies and deception. I know better than to turn a blind eye. He believes that a simple smile and a sly choice of words will force me to bend and bow to his games, but after years of forced believing my mind is beginning to branch out on its own. As I sit here in the pools of my bed sheets and nightgown, I have finally realized that I am not afraid to die. All I am is a useless doll made for someone else's benefit, but the mere thought of death is quite atrocious. I fear the emptiness I will feel when I pass on without him, as idiotic as it sounds, and my body is reacting to this subconscious fear. Sweating palms, skin white as a corpse. My body repels it, but my mind welcomes it with outstretched arms. I feel that when the time does come that my death looms over me, I will immensely regret my decision. But as of now, I shall wait in the ruins of my bed and mind while accepting my destiny.


	2. Letter Two

11-26-1909

To whomever it may concern,

My theories were thrown down the drain. I feel like such a fool for spending my night crying and fighting with myself. As I waited in the darkness of the night, listening to the rain pour like glass marbles upon my head with the moonlight blinded by the haze, the only thing that alerted me of his presence was the soft creaking of his footsteps in the flooring of the hallway. He called out to me on occasion. He yelled pleas and apologizes, even a few curses, but no threats. He was even audacious enough to rattle the locked door knob a numerous amount of times. I know very well that he could intrude into the room if he desired to, but he allowed me to stay secluded with my fear which had ebbed to curiosity. I truly do not know if these letters are a cry for help or a chance of reaching out. They seem rather pointless, but I do not know anything any longer, as it seems. I do not even know if anyone shall ever receive these at that. How on earth would I manage to smuggle these envelopes from under his nose anyways. He is known for being a watchdog, at that. Throwing them into the breeze from my window is a rather risky manner anyways. How would I unlock it in the first place? It has been three days since I've stayed locked away. I'm too terrified to leave for I have begun to fear death yet again. I have learned the act of hiding and have hidden scraps throughout my residing place. Nothing will dull the pain throbbing in the pit of my stomach. Perhaps I'll be well enough soon.. He's calling to me again outside of the door, I can hear his body pressing up against the surface. He sounds rather distraught as he calls to me. Does he truly feel remorse on what he has done to me oh so many times? Bruises do heal, but do my memories and thoughts? I truly do not know anything any longer, and it pains me. It was my own fault to accept this damned agreement. But I was a stupid child with no conscience or will. A child in love with the thought of her adolescent years and all the moments spent with him. In love with the reunion after all the years of silence and mourning. A child who was widowed before adulthood. No one will understand how easy it is to rip a heart to shreds. Was it truly such a mistake to fall into his arms so easily yet again? He has kept me safe but at what cost? Countless harm upon my skin and thoughts. My anger and madness building a wall? After being trapped with deception and so many lies for so many years? Secrets are still clouded behind those red eyes, which he attempts to hide as well. Does he still take me for such a child? My age has grown farther than his, sure, but I suppose I am lacking in mental age. I have realized this much. That he is far more intellectual than I will ever grow to be, but he treats me as porcelain. Is he oh so afraid of me breaking if he speaks the wrong words to me? He hides these secrets yet insults me with his entire being. I am more intelligent than I was when we began, and now I have realized my fatal mistake. I never did tell anyone of my whereabouts. He wants to keep me safe, as he says. No. No, that is not it at all. He merely wants his secret to be kept in the shadows. I know this much. I mourned his secret, only to discover his lies. He took me away to keep my mouth shut. He's rapping at the door again. Perhaps I shall concede and allow his presence. I bid you farewell.


	3. Letter Three

11-27-1909

To whomever it may concern,

I feel as if my mind is slowly dwindling under his words of pure persuasion. He questioned me of the lock, of my bed, of my ghostlike state. He merely bombarded me. He ran his cold hands over my pale and flushed cheeks and drew me into his arms. I let him, of course.. It always ends like this. Always. Anytime I fear or have any doubt. Anytime I cry or question. He holds me and whispers things I know are not true coming from his lips, and it is uttermost insulting to hear. The velvet voice of a demon has become recognizable to me and I have been fighting it since the young age of adolescence, but the rekindled love I had for him at the same age of a child shall never depart for me, and I truly despise myself for it. I am such a horrid fool, allowing him to batter me with his words and hands. I am a fool for staying here. I have been here for six whole years, and I regret yet cherish every moment spent locked away. I have kept his horrid secret for six years and stayed hidden away at his request for no ones benefit but of that of a demon. I see my pale ivy eyes flash with fear reflected within his own blue pools anytime he draws near to me. I do not wish to fear him, but it has been inevitable since I learned of the truth. I await for him to kill me, but sometimes I think that perhaps he is a fool as well still tripping over the promised words our parents said for us before either of us breathed our first breath. I want to believe that he does it out of love and not out of pity. I think 'Perhaps he does truly love me..' I always wanted to be his treasured wife, not his nuisance of a younger sister, which I feel as if I have grown to be. I was always the shadow of my family in the first place. Always reduced to silence and shushed despite my woes. After the _incident_ , I was an outcast to my family and was reduced to merely the fourth mouth to feed. When he came for me, it was a blessing for I felt as if I would finally be something to someone… Then here we are now, with me crying onto this paper as I recall all the memories of him slapping my face red and holding me as I cry into him forgiving him for all the dreadful things he did to me. Letting his arms embrace me as he tells me how important I am and how much he loves me despite him disappearing almost every evening. I am hoping that he senses my distress, for the last few days he merely lingers outside my door waiting for me to let him back inside.

" **What are those?"**

He asked me, reverting his eye to the paper and pen sitting on top of my desk. I pulled my tear stained face out of my hands and watched as he looked from me to the pile. The moonlight shone almost illuminating them as his single blue orb glowed along with them. He acted so nonchalant, as if I had not just lost my words on the audacious volume of my voice moments ago.

" **Stories."**

I do prefer to call myself a women of honesty, and I do try my best to uphold that title with pride, but he has released more lies from his mouth than I have words so I feel as if any fibs heard by his ears are meaningless. He made motions to touch them and I shooed him out before spending the rest of the night leaning against my bed with my knees in the floor and my head on my lap. I awoke choking to curls. I hope I can have enough fortitude to perhaps abandon my helpless state and perhaps eat.

He continues to try and shove food down my throat with each visit but I always decline.

Best wishes, Elizabeth.


	4. Flashback One

7-2-1902

A young girl lays solemnly on her bed, the sheets ruffled by her presence. Her blonde curls fanning out behind her head. Her emerald eyes graze the beige coloured ceiling, and only break away as a collection of three knocks are heard from behind her door. The one knocking knows better than to call out to the girl, for they do realize that no answer will be returned to them. The young man outside the door draws in a breath and opens the door. Her eyes were set on his even before he entered the room.

" **Elizabeth."** He greets her as the girl sighs before blinking her green hues up to their state of nothingness. He nods at the acknowledgment of his presence and takes it as an invitation to enter. He closes the door behind him without turning and takes several steps. She blinks in rhythm to his footsteps. " **Elizabeth,"** he repeats, now standing beside her bed. " **Mother said-"**

" **..."**

She closes her emerald eyes and shakes her head before he can finish. He closes his mouth knowing that he was lucky to even get this far. He holds his hands together in front of him and frowns with his eyes on the floor.

" **I am as sorry as I can be, Lizzy. I truly am, but you can't take your fury and sadness out on us. Its been two years, will you ever grow tired of this game?"**

She takes in a breath and looks to her brother yet again. The older brother who had raised her and loved her through her adolescent years. Who was now now an adult, taking care of his younger sister who was soon to also be an adult. She feels a wave of affection surge through her as she meets his equally green eyes with her own before smiling. With humor in her eyes and outstretched lips, she whispers, " **Leave."**

" **Elizabeth."**

She raises her hand for silence.

" **A game you say? You believe that this is a game? A game of pretend. Am I merely playing along, to this so called game. Being wretched away from the world twice before I reach adulthood? Being a widow at sixteen? Do you truly believe that I desire this fate? That I enjoy spending every day of my life hating myself. Crying until I can no longer?"**

" **That isn't what I meant."**

" **Then why did you say it?"**

She sighs quietly and stares back up at the ceiling with a blank expression across her face. " **Please just leave me."** And so he does. He spins around and does not even bother to say a goodbye before slamming shut the door and leaving the girl alone with her thoughts. When he returns merely hours later with a sad look on his face, he opens up the door and finds the girl's tousled bed sheets empty and cold, her curtains flying with the breeze given by the open window.


End file.
